Kiddapped & Eddadgered
Posted by jamesviscosi on March 20, 2008
Heddo, by dame is Herban add I ab a hedgehog. Dot long ago I lived id de pet store wid by 14 idedtical twids add a whole budch of odder squeaky toys. Den a lady kiddapped be frob the store. It was ad idside job; de lady paid sobe bodey to de store before she took be away. Den she gave be to a little red dog dat she called Deddis. Little did I dow it but I was about to edter de uddergroudd world of dog squeak toy exploitatiod.
At first Deddis seebed like a dice doggy. He carried me around and squeaked my hodker like a good boy. But it wasd’t long before he turned mead. He bit by dose off (dat’s why I talk like dis dow) ad as you cad see in dese shocking photos, he dearly pulled by squeaker all de way out drough de opeding. Have you ever seed such cruelty? If I hadd’t beed rescued by de Toy Liberatiod Frodt I would’dt be here to tell you by story. As it is, dey say I will need years of recodstructive surgery, add by squeaker will probably dever work agaid.
I can odly hope sobbody idvestigates this so it doesn’t happed to ady odder squeak toy ever agaid. De evil Deddis add de lady who keeps hib supplied wid toys bust be brought to justice. Where is de FBI whed you deed dem?
By Poor Dose Is Gone
Gina said
Hahaha Well you know how those dogs are.
Rocket said
Uh oh! Someone call the squeeky police! Dennis is at it again. I’ll chip in $5.00 bucks for bail. Assuming he gets bail. Maybe we could get Dennis a fake passport and he could live in the country with those Red Girls!
S. Le said
Good work there Dennis! My dog (now sadly deceased) once gave Kermit the Frog a lobodomy! Teeth are for chewing and so you did! Hurrah and good on you!
4urpets said
Oh no, Dennis is at it again. Looks like he had a lot of fun. Jonesy completely disembowels all his squeaky’s, so I guess you don’t have it so bad.
Chris said
Better to have loved and lost, than never to have been loved at all.
From Maizy the Vizsla dog
Loki said
Wow! I didn’t know squeaky toys were alive and had feelings too! Now I’m gonna look at each squeaky toy I give Loki differently. Loki likes to pull out all the stuffing and chew the squeaker to teeny tiny bits. I guess we’re just really evil!
Tasmaniac said
OMG Dennis what have you done????
What can we do,
Dog’s were made to chew,
better the squeaky toy,
than your Dada’s shoe….
The Country with Red Girls????
goodbear said
this poor hedgehog. i have seen dennis’s flying toys and they are NOT treated with such violence and disrespect!
this is an outrage to the hedgehog community…unless….he had it coming…..
things aren’t always what they appear. i would like to hear dennis’s side of the story!
Nose Job « Dennis’s Diary of Destruction said
[...] can see, Dr. Dennis removed all the stuffing from my nose, leaving it hollow and floppy. This is not the first time Dr. Dennis has botched surgery on a toy, as I would have learned had I checked his references. [...]