Tucker Tuesday: The Adventure of the Flyball Demo

Hello good readers. This is Tucker the Much Better Vizsla Than Dennis. Longtime acquaintances of Dennis may remember his claims of flyball super-stardom. But do Dennis’s claims add up? On Sunday, I was invited to a demo put on by Dennis’s flyball team, while Dennis stayed home, supposedly due to his nervous condition involving large munitions exploding at the nearby Marine base (or, as I call it, “Something That Happens Every Day And What’s The Big Deal?”). This presented me with the perfect opportunity to investigate his so-called athleticism. Come, Trixie! The game’s afoot!

The demo took place along the shore, for the benefit of a small dog park. It was an excruciating one-block walk to the park from where our chauffeur, also known as Dada, parked the car. Rest assured, his pay will be docked for making me walk all that distance.

I had to walk. An ENTIRE BLOCK. On DIRT.

Upon arrival, I discovered the flyball field set up much as Dennis has described it in the past. However, as you will soon see, this proved to be the only part of his story that turned out to be accurate.

You play flyball on the flyball field, with the flyball.

Now, Dennis claims that when he plays flyball, he has to leap over obstacles, grab a ball from a box, and run back, leaping over the same obstacles, all while competing against another team. Being a demo, there was no other team, but still, you would expect that I would have to jump over obstacles and grab a ball, since Mama had brought me as her dog. But is that what happened? You be the judge.

I don’t seem to be running or jumping. I seem to be sitting on Dada’s lap.

As can plainly be seen, I did nothing of the sort. I sat on Dada’s lap, and watched OTHER dogs run and jump. Is there any reason to think that Dennis did anything differently?

I’m getting exhausted just watching all this activity.

Now, you may remember that Dennis has posted numerous videos purporting to show him running and jumping and carrying a ball. But my keen eyes discovered that there is, in fact, another vizsla dog on Dennis’s team. It would be trivial for Dennis, being a very nondescript sort of vizsla dog (unlike my distinguished and distinctive self), to pass off video of this other dog as being of him.

A few clicks of the “erase” tool in Pixelmator, and this could be Dennis.

So what might Dennis have actually been doing at flyball? Well, it seems that there is a good deal of drinking going on at these events, as captured in this shocking video!

And there is also, as you can see, a great deal of kissing.

And a large number of noisy kids, all of whom were on my lawn, ignoring my continuous admonitions that they should be quiet and go somewhere else.

I was so worn out from trying to restore order, I needed to retire to Mama’s lap to recuperate.

Mama. I’m tired.

Ah, blessed rest.

So what can we see from this? Clearly, Dennis’s tales of flyball glory are nothing but fabrications. There is no doubt that he spent all of his so-called racing days relaxing on Mama’s lap, just like I did. The Adventure of the Flyball Demo has been resolved!

case_closed

Elementary, my dear Trixie. Elementary.

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18 thoughts on “Tucker Tuesday: The Adventure of the Flyball Demo

  1. *snicker* A few clicks of the Pixelmator, eh? I think it’s a good think you were there to preserve order and the solitude of the lawn. How fortunate that you were able to brave the kissing bandit and expose Dennis’ tales of grandeur. I thought everything that happened on your blog was real, but know we know the truth!

  2. Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning says:

    Wait, maybe Dennis didn’t have to do ALL that walking on dirt that you did, and so maybe he was in much better shape to actually DO fly ball???

    Just sayin’

    Woos – Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  3. Frankie Furter and Ernie says:

    Just as I suspected all along.

    BUTT I can NOT believe you were taken on that hideous FORCED MARCH .. by your BLOCK HEADED Dada. THAT is what you called him, isn’t it???

  4. Yet another hoax perpetrated by ditzy Dennis. I think the lap time sounds great, but I agree that the youngsters with all their yelling sure made it hard to find your inner peace.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

  5. 20thcenturyanne says:

    Daisy and Fluffy both enjoyed this post. Daisy sat up and watched from my lap, Fluffy commented loudly from the floor. I am not able to translate.

  6. offshore bank account says:

    So I think I would LOVE Flyball: doggies race against each other in teams where they run over jumps, smack a box, a tennis ball pops out, they grab the ball and then race back over the jumps – ready for the next team member to go!

  7. silver account says:

    This is what i love about flyball, the people are just so fantastic and welcoming. As its a team sport you get such a buzz from working as a team. I go to competitions quite often at the weekends and we usually end up meeting the same teams and the cameraderie is great, there is such a social aspect to it. Most people camp regualrly and there is nothing more relaxing than sitting around a barbecue with your team mates watching other teams having fun playing rounders and having a laugh! You get that with agility to some extent, but as its such a bigger sport i find its not quite as social as flyball. But i do enjoy both as do my dogs.

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