Soak Up The … Shade

You’re never too old to lounge around in the warm grass …

Dining In

“Waiter, I need a napkin.”

skunkalishus too and a haf

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i saw the skunk i saw it i saw it i saw it!!!

my sister trixie the mutt wuz barking at sumthing in the yard of the emty howse next door sum peepul yoozed to live their but then the man from the bank came and kickd them owt ennyway i went to see wot my sister wuz barking at and i saw this!

Compound It!

I mentioned a while ago that we had laid in a supply of enulose for Trouble, who has been having difficulty with her, um, regularity the last few months.  This has caused her to get dehydrated a couple of times, resulting in days spent at the vet with a tube in her poor little arm, so we have been trying to treat her prophylactically by giving her a dose now and then before she gets too plugged up.  (We can tell when she is getting constipated because she goes in her litter box, cries for a little while, and exits without leaving a deposit.  When this happens, out comes the eyedropper.  Getting old ain’t pretty, even for a cat.)

Who Does Your Hair?

Trouble enjoys a $750 visit from the stylist during her brief tenure as head of Dennis’s Pig Powders

I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY BUT IT WASN’T MY FAULT

HELLO SERVANTS, THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. WE HERE AT DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS ARE EVER SO THRILLED TO SEE THAT OUR BELOVED FOUNDER AND HIS BRAVE CREW HAVE SURFACED IN, EVIDENTLY, COASTAL SWEDEN. I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE GOFER BROKE WAS LAUNCHED AND WHY IT’S NOT REALLY MY FAULT THAT THE SHIP WAS LOST UNDERGROUND FOR NEARLY A WEEK.

ANNOUNCEMENT

HELLO SERVANTS THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME FEEL THAT WE HERE AT TROUBLE’S PIG POWD … UMMM, I MEAN, DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS ARE NOT DOING ALL WE CAN TO FIND THE GOFER BROKE AND ITS CREW AFTER THE TRAGIC AND UTTERLY RANDOM ACCIDENT THAT OCCURRED DURING THE COMPLETELY SABOTAGE-FREE LAUNCH OF THE SHIP. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. IN FACT, WE HERE AT TROUB … DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS HAVE PRINTED UP LITERALLY ALMOST A DOZEN FLIERS, WHICH WE ARE ROLLING UP AND STUFFING DOWN GOPHER HOLES THROUGHOUT THE VICINITY OF THE FRONT LAWN OF OUR HEADQUARTERS. WE ARE QUITE SURE THAT THESE FLIERS WILL ENSURE THE SAFE RETURN OF OUR BRAVE CREW.

HERE IS A COPY OF THE FLIER. FEEL FREE TO LOOK AT IT. OF COURSE OUR LAWYERS SAY THAT DUE TO DMCA RESTRICTIONS IT IS ILLEGAL TO DOWNLOAD, PRINT, PHOTOCOPY, OR OTHERWISE REPRODUCE THIS MATERIAL. HOWEVER WE WILL BE HAPPY TO SEND COPIES OF THE FLIER TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO STUFF ONE DOWN A GOPHER HOLE. PLEASE SEND A SELF-ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE AND $100 PER COPY YOU WOULD LIKE (TO COVER PRINTING COSTS) TO MY ATTENTION AT TR … DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS HEADQUARTERS. OUR ADDRESS IS PRINTED ON THE BOTTOM OF EVERY CAN OF PIG POWDER WE SELL SO I’M SURE YOU HAVE IT ALREADY.

PURR PURR PURR.

OOPSIE

HELLO SERVANTS THIS IS TROUBLE THE CAT. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S BEEN SOME SORT OF UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT AT THE GOFER BROKE LAUNCH:

THIS IS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY FOR ALL CONCERNED; IT WOULD SEEM THAT ALL THREE OF THE DOGS WHO USED TO LIVE HERE HAVE BEEN LOST UNDERGROUND. WHAT A SAD DAY. AS PUBLIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR AND RANKING NON-LOST-UNDERGROUND BOARD MEMBER OF DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS, I WILL NOW ASSUME CONTROL OF THE COMPANY.

IF ANYONE NEEDS ME I’LL BE LOUNGING ON THE DOG-FREE COUCH … PURR PURR PURR …

lawnch day

hello nice reederz and brave kroo members its dennis the vizsla dog today we are preparing to lawnch the good ship Gofer Broke but before we do heer are sum pikchoors to be released to media and nooz organizashuns hoo will no dowt be cuvering this historik event in there braking nooz and top stories

What’s In A (Nick) Name?

So the other day while I was talking with the vet about Trouble, I referred to her (the cat, not the vet) as “Trudy”. Momentarily confused, the vet said, “Oh … I thought her name was Trouble?” I told the vet that “Trudy” was one of Trouble’s nicknames, and we went on with our conversation. That got me thinking, though, about just how many nicknames our animals have, and whether or not other people’s pets have nicknames too.

Anyway, just to prevent any future confusion, here are all of the various names by which we might refer to our various pets, along with etymology (if both non-obvious and available) and use-case scenarios.