On the “Best … Tag … Ever” post, TwoBarkingDogs mentioned an envelope for eliminating the “tag jinglies” associated with a dog’s rabies, identification, and license tags, and then I mentioned that Tucker used to have such an envelope.  I was pretty sure I had a picture of him wearing it, and lo and behold, I had already uploaded it to Flickr a while back, for use in the Snow Puppy post.

Note the blue nylon pouch — that’s where his tags lived when he was a young pup.  It definitely eliminated the jingles!  Plus, he could use it to carry his cigarettes.

So while I was taking pictures of Tucker waiting for his mama to finish laying down his cheese trail, I got a closeup of his collar, prominently featuring his Boomerang tag.  Specifically, this is the Boomerang CollarTag, which is a sturdy stainless steel plate engraved with up to four or five lines of text, depending on the size of the tag.  They slip on to the collar and then pretty much stay put; they don’t jingle, they don’t hang from a little metal loop, and as far as I can tell they never wear out.  (This one is about six years old.)

Of course, if the dog loses his collar he loses his tag, but other than that these tags aren’t going anywhere.  In fact they’re pretty difficult to get off even when you’re trying to remove them.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that these tags can also stop bullets*, signal aircraft**, grant the power of flight***, disarm atomic weapons****, and, if you have enough of them, be connected together to form plate mail*****.

The “My Mommy Misses Me” line is there because my wife knows someone whose dog was lost and, when it was eventually returned, the person who returned it said that they were going to keep the dog (despite the fact that it had tags) until they saw that its collar said “My Mommy Misses Me”, which made them feel guilty.  Ever since then, this line has appeared on all our dog tags.  (Trixie being “my” dog, my wife suggested that her tag could say “My Daddy Misses Me”, but we ultimately decided that “Mommy” would produce a better guilt trip.)

* Attempt at own risk
** Before signaling an aircraft, always verify that it is non-hostile
*** Flight only guaranteed to last 1-3 seconds
**** MacGyver required
***** Armor Class 2

You’re never too old to lounge around in the warm grass …

Yes, those are foxtails in the yard.  They’ve been horrible this year because of all the rain, I think.  I made sure none of them got stuck in Trouble’s fur, although they don’t seem to attach very well to her at all.  Trixie, on the other hand, needs to be checked frequently to make sure she doesn’t have any stuck in her fur or (especially) between her toes.  Our foxtails are actually a very pleasant grass, soft and green, until the spikelets appear.  Then they become an incredible nuisance.  Normally the spikelets are at the end of long stalks of grass, but if you try to weed-whack them or keep the grass mowed down to an inch or two, they start appearing right along the ground.  Persistent little guys.  Southern California — where all the weeds sting, scratch, prickle, stick, poke, or stink!

Why are you pointing that camera at me instead of brushing me?

Is that a mouse?  No, it’s just a leaf.  Wait, is that a mouse?  No, it’s the same leaf.  Wait, is that …

I think you need to do some weeding and fertilizing.  Less blogging, more yardwork.  Chop chop.

Somebody doesn’t tidy up after brushing his kitty.  Oh, I didn’t realize you were still standing there …

So yesterday I found out that the studio where we’ve been taking ballroom lessons for the last six years is switching from Arthur Murray to Fred Astaire, which has more franchise opportunities in California.  Not only that, but they’re going to be opening a new branch studio here in our city within the next month or two!  What does this mean?

• We’ll only have to drive four miles to get to the studio, instead of 45
• $500/year savings on gas!!!!
• Less crate time for Dennis on lesson nights
• We might actually go to the weeknight events, group classes, and dances (which are currently known to our instructors as “things we don’t tell you about because we know you’ll say no”)
• A new curriculum (we get to pick up where we currently are rather than having to start over again)
• A new instructor, although he’s one we’ve worked with before and really like
• Evening classes will include free views of the sunset over the Pacific Ocean

Okay, so this is very thinly dog-related, but we’re still very excited about being able to cut out that big drive every week.  And Dennis is too!

*koff* hello nice reederz its *koff* dennis the vizsla dog hay gess wot *koff* i finaly got to meet the *koff* skunk owt in the bakyard tonite i ran owt and *koff* there it wuz and it lifted up its tale and *koff* sprayd me rite smak in the face i cudnt even open my *koff* eye for a wile it was so stinky i hav to say its *koff* not at all wot tucker and trixie led me to *koff* ekspekt to be onnest i didnt like it much at all

my sister trixie wuz *koff* owtside too but she didnt even try to go get the *koff* skunk and i sware she wuz laffing at me wile mama cleand me up *koff* im starting to think maybe she wuz conning me the hole time she wuz *koff* telling me that chaysing skunks wuz fun yes ive definitly lernd my lessun wen it comes to skunks *koff* yoo shood always aproach them from the front i will *koff* try that nekst time and i think it will wurk better ok bye

*koff*

So yesterday, I went to the park with my wife and Tucker to help with Tucker’s scenting; and by “help” I mean I sat and held Tucker’s lead while my wife went around laying a trail of mozzarella bits and hiding a sock full of string cheese, which is the “jackpot” at the end of the trail.  (Also, I “helped” by discouraging her from marking the trail with flour, on the theory that after we left, somebody would come along, see the flour, think it was anthrax or ricin or something, and call in a HazMat team.  I think I annoyed her a little, but at least she isn’t going to get carted off to jail.)

Anyway, my job was pretty easy.  Sit.  Stay.  Good boy.  Tucker’s job was a little harder.

“Why is Mama way over there?  Why do I have to sit here with you???”

Once the trail was finished, Tucker got down to work.  Notice his special harness — this is what he wears so he knows he’s supposed to be tracking.  It’s kind of like when Clark Kent takes off his eyeglasses and puts on his red and blue jammies and then he’s Superman.

Smells like teen spirit. Or possibly string cheese.

According to the trainer, Tucker is a very determined and methodical scent tracker.  This is what makes him so successful at filching food off the counter and from out of the trash; but when he’s doing scent work, he uses his powers for good instead of evil.  NOTE:  For some reason, my wife objected to this camera angle, so everyone please look at the dog and not at her.  Thanks

The Nose Knows

Hey, you over there — eyes on the dog!!!  Sheesh, there’s one in every crowd …

Ka-Ching!

As you can see, Tucker really enjoys his scent work.  I’m pretty sure this is because he gets a big bag o’cheese at the end of it, but my wife says he likes having a job, as well as getting time alone with Mama, away from Dennis.

Of course, this doesn’t mean he’s stopped trying to steal food when he’s home.  If anything, he’s gotten even better at it — and he was already an expert.

“Waiter, I need a napkin.”

So, having earlier embarrassed myself by listing the silly nicknames we have for the animals, I thought I would humiliate myself further by admitting that I also sing to them.

The songs are usually variations on the choruses of pop chestnuts like “Luka” or “Runaway” with the lyrics altered so that instead of being about child abuse or missing and exploited teenagers, they’re about how cute/fuzzy/smart/mischievous the animals are.  Here’s an example; this is a relatively new song that I sing to Dennis, because his mama has lately been rubbing him with coconut oil in an effort to moisturize his skin (his coat still hasn’t fully recovered from the ordeal that landed him and his siblings in rescue) and keep it from getting flaky in the dry California air.  Of course, this makes him greasy and coconut flavored, so then the other dogs treat him like a coconut lollipop.

To the tune of “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson:

Said “Mama, ain’t there nothing I can take?“
He said “Mama, to relieve this itchy flake?”
He said “Mama, ain’t there nothing I can take?”
He said “Mama, to relieve this itchy flake?”
Now lemme get this straight,

You put the dog in the coconut and shake him all up
Put the dog in the coconut and shake him all up
Put the dog in the coconut and shake ‘em both together
Put the dog in the coconut to make his fur better

You put the dog in the coconut and grease him all up
Put the dog in the coconut watch Tucker lick him up
Put the dog in the coconut and wipe him all down
Put the dog in the coconut and wash him in the morning …

Yes, I’m a great big dork, but the dogs don’t seem to mind.

“Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific”

Doggie Brylcreem

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wot is up with this messaj i am getting wen i try to visit my nice frends at blogspot

dada sez googul is beeing paranoyd i dont no wot that meenz all i do no is i cant visit sum of my nice frends rite now so i am verry sad oh well i gess i will hav to amyooz myself in sum other way i think i will go lik myself for a wile its not as much fun as it yoozed to be but it stil helps pass the time ok bye

It seems there’s been some concern about whether or not we have been able to get help from Tucker’s breeder regarding his condition, so we’d like to assure any interested parties that we’ve been in regular communication with them for the entire time we’ve had Tucker (i.e., his whole life). He has always been a perfectly fit and healthy dog, so when he began exhibiting these odd symptoms, one of the first things we did was get in touch with them to find out if any of his brothers or sisters or any other dogs in his line had developed something similar. (None have.)

In our opinion, we couldn’t have asked for a better breeder. They have always been helpful, interested, informative, and supportive, and even stopped by to visit Tucker out here in California when they were in the state for an event. (That’s a long way from Toronto, Ontario!) We apologize if we gave anyone the impression that we have not been able to reach the breeder or that we posted the video of Tucker because the breeder has been unhelpful, because nothing could be further from the truth. We would have no hesitation whatsoever about getting another dog from them, and I think that pretty much says all that needs to be said.