I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY BUT IT WASN’T MY FAULT

HELLO SERVANTS, THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. WE HERE AT DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS ARE EVER SO THRILLED TO SEE THAT OUR BELOVED FOUNDER AND HIS BRAVE CREW HAVE SURFACED IN, EVIDENTLY, COASTAL SWEDEN. I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE GOFER BROKE WAS LAUNCHED AND WHY IT’S NOT REALLY MY FAULT THAT THE SHIP WAS LOST UNDERGROUND FOR NEARLY A WEEK.

im not scared

by the way its not troo that im scared of ninja hedjhogs i wasnt looking for them wen i was looking at the seeling i was wundring when dada wuz going to kleen up all the kobwebs ha ha ok bye

Ninja Hedgehogs!!!

“Aieeee, they’re crawling all over the ceiling!”

im falsly acused (again)

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog thank yoo goodbear for seeing thru that hedjhogs reediclus story it didnt happn that way at all first wen we were at the store the hedjhog praktickly begd me to take him home he jumpd off the rack rite into my mowth so of kors we tuk him sekond wuns we got him home it turnd owt he was a ninja hedjhog sent to get me in trubble wile mamas bak was turnd he took owt this littel tiny ninja sord and started poking holes in the sofa pillos well i didnt want to get blamed for that since i still get blamed for wut happend to the chayse lounj even tho it was the gofers from the yard hoo did it so i tried to stop him but hes a ninja and reely fast and sneeky i had to persoo him all arownd the howse and owt into the yard and bak into the howse and finally he got tired becuz not even a ninja has mor enerjy than a vizsla and i was able to katch him then ther was a terrifik fite wich i wun and that is the troo story of how the hedjhog lost his nose i dont no and never herd of the toy liberation front i think the hedjhog is making them up ennyway he wasnt reskewed mama thru him in the trash and he probly sneeked away before the garbaj man picked him up ok bye

ps hey duz ennybody no how to yooze a tiny ninja sord to pik the lok on a krate?

Kiddapped & Eddadgered

Heddo, by dame is Herban add I ab a hedgehog. Dot long ago I lived id de pet store wid by 14 idedtical twids add a whole budch of odder squeaky toys. Den a lady kiddapped be frob the store. It was ad idside job; de lady paid sobe bodey to de store before she took be away. Den she gave be to a little red dog dat she called Deddis. Little did I dow it but I was about to edter de uddergroudd world of dog squeak toy exploitatiod.

At first Deddis seebed like a dice doggy. He carried me around and squeaked my hodker like a good boy. But it wasd’t long before he turned mead. He bit by dose off (dat’s why I talk like dis dow) ad as you cad see in dese shocking photos, he dearly pulled by squeaker all de way out drough de opeding. Have you ever seed such cruelty? If I hadd’t beed rescued by de Toy Liberatiod Frodt I would’dt be here to tell you by story. As it is, dey say I will need years of recodstructive surgery, add by squeaker will probably dever work agaid.

I can odly hope sobbody idvestigates this so it doesn’t happed to ady odder squeak toy ever agaid. De evil Deddis add de lady who keeps hib supplied wid toys bust be brought to justice. Where is de FBI whed you deed dem?