you’re both losers

Tucker, i don’t sleep in bed because my fur is too thick and i would be hot. besides, beds are for HUMANS. you’re not a human, are you? (don’t try to deny you’re a dog. i’ve seen you eating poop.) you’d better stop trying to teach Dennis bad manners or i’ll roll you on your back and pin you for an hour or two. not that you would learn anything from it, but it would be fun.
signed,

Trixie

i’m being defamed by a hillbilly

hello readers, this is Tucker the “other” vizsla. don’t be fooled by anything Dennis might tell you. he’s just some weird foster dog from the sticks. he can’t even spell or use punctuation. i’ve been trying to annoy him by licking him incessantly in hopes he’ll go away but he seems to like it. what a freak. anyway i am not spoiled, i deserve everything i ask for.

Trixie is just jealous because i sleep in bed and she sleeps on the floor. don’t listen to her either.

whuts my brudders problem?

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog again i wuz wundering abowt my brudder Tucker the other vizsla dog hes always wining and carrying on like wen mama is getting owr brekfast reddy he wines and paces and wont be kwiet until dada throws him owt of the office he duz this evry day even thow evry day he gets thrown owt so i wuz wundering whuts rong with him i think he mite be crazy and posibly danjerus but my sister Trixie the chowchow mix sez no hes just spoild rotten is she rite?